


Vivid

by bfketh



Series: After the Night [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Worship, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-17 08:41:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2303594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bfketh/pseuds/bfketh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi thinks he hates the way a certain pair of lively green eyes remind him of a past he'd rather forget.</p><p>Until one day he notices the light in them is dimming, snuffed out under the weight of a burden far too heavy to be placed on shoulders so young, and he realizes he'd do anything to bring that spark back, even if only for one night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is post-Canon for the anime, and I'm going to simplify things a bit by just focusing on the fight against the Titans, rather than bringing in the other plot-points from the manga as well. Mild spoilers for ACWNR.

Levi hated the color green, he decided.

He hated the way Jaeger looked at him, eyes shining with admiration. He wanted to take the brat aside and shake him, ask him what the fuck he even  _saw_ when he looked at him. There was  _nothing_ about Levi worth admiring. Nothing worth emulating. He was good at killing Titans, and that ability was the only reason his existence even had any worth.

Yes, existence. He couldn't even really call what he did living. Follow orders, kill Titans, try to get these brats trained enough so that they don't die five minutes into their first expedition. Don't let anyone in, don't get too close, make your choices without letting your emotions cloud your perception. Don't regret, keep moving forward, don't turn back.

Never turn back.

The worst part was, he wasn't even sure  _why_ the damn brat affected him so much. Jaeger was hardly the first to look at him with unmasked hero worship, and Levi doubted that he'd be the last. Hell, Oluo, the poor bastard, had taken it even farther, but Levi had only been mildly annoyed by his subordinate's emulation. So why was it a mere glance from Jaeger was enough to send his heart twisting painfully into his gut?

When he got his answer, he wasn't prepared for it.

He'd taken his new squad out with Christa (Historia, he reminded himself) and Eren to practice 3DMG maneuvers in the forest. Hanji was tagging along, too, claiming that they wanted to see if Eren's recent ordeal had any effect on his abilities. Levi suspected that Hanji was just bored.

Jean and Mikasa didn't really need much oversight, so Levi found himself focusing more on the others. As he barked out orders and corrections while they moved through the trees, he kept half an eye on Eren. The teenager kept doggedly trying to execute Levi's spinning attacks, had been for weeks, and Levi was convinced that the only thing he was going to manage would be slicing through his own lines. Or maybe his leg. Which would be a pain in the ass because it would put an end to their training for the day.

So it was a bit of a surprise when Eren somehow got his momentum and his gas working together to propel himself into a full spin, his blades pointing out.

His spin was shaky, and he wasn't going anywhere  _near_ as fast as he should have been, so he only completed a few revolutions instead of a sustained attack before he had to send out his line and resume his forward travel, but he still shot Levi a triumphant grin, his eyes shining. "Look, Heichou! I did it!"

_"Look, Big Bro! I did it!"_

Levi's heart stopped in his chest as a face imposed itself in his mind. It was the same shining green eyes, the same smile, so carefree in spite of hardship. Bright red hair tied into two pig-tails. Laughter echoing up against the roof of a cavern as three teenagers secretly taught themselves to use the gear stolen from some careless Military Police. Taught themselves to survive.

_Fuck._

Levi faltered in mid-flight, having to quickly send out a line to correct himself before he smashed into a tree. He felt Hanji's speculative gaze burning into his back, the only one who knew him well enough to have noticed the slight hitch in his normally flawless maneuvers. Levi grit his teeth and ignored them, choosing to wipe that all too familiar smile off Eren's face instead. "Jaeger! Eyes front! This isn't a game, you little shit, and if I catch you goofing off again, you'll be scrubbing the commodes with your own fucking toothbrush when we get back. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir." Levi felt another pang in his chest as Eren mumbled his response and turned his face forward, moving ahead to join the rest of the group. 

_Sorry, kid. It's for your own good._

Levi wondered how many times he'd have to tell himself that before he started to actually believe it.

~~~~~

"So, what was that all about back there?"

On the return to headquarters, Levi had washed off the grime from training before grabbing his dinner directly from the kitchen and taking it back to his office, on the pretense that he had extra work to catch up on until Erwin was back on his feet. Which wasn't  _actually_ a lie, but the real truth was that he wasn't in the mood to be around anyone else at the moment.

Of course, Hanji would never let themself be deterred by anything as simple as a closed door.

Levi continued going through his paperwork. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Hanji scoffed. "Oh come on. You know exactly what I'm talking about. What happened?" Levi's lips pressed into a thin line as he continued to sign paper after paper. Hanji's eyes glittered behind their glasses as they made a guess. "Is it Eren?"

Levi's fingers twitched, sending the nib of the pen scratching too deeply into the page under it, tearing the paper. "Fuck off."

"Ooh, bull's-eye." Hanji leaned forward from where they were sitting in front of Levi's desk, causing Levi to unconsciously lean back in his chair. "So, what is it? Jealous that he's managing to learn all your tricks? Worried that he's going to do something reckless? Or maybe you just really wish you could order him back to your quarters and-"

Levi's hand slammed down on his desk with enough force that it was a miracle the wood didn't crack. "What part of 'fuck off' did you not understand, you shitty four-eyes? Just because _you've_ got verbal diarrhea spewing out of that sewer you call a mouth, it doesn't mean the rest of us want to talk about every. Fucking. Little. Thing."

Hanji visibly deflated, shoulders curling forward as they slumped into the chair. "Sorry."

Levi leaned his elbows on the desk and scrubbed his hands across his face before he ran them up into his hair and gripped tight. "Fuck," he muttered as he stared down at his desk, avoiding Hanji's gaze. He heard the chair across from him scrape against the floor and Hanji's footsteps heading for the door. "I just..."

The footsteps stopped.

"You've  _seen_ the way he looks at me. He looks at me like that and I... I'm just going to get him killed. Hell, I'm probably going to be the one to actually kill him. I can't do this, Hanji." Levi squeezed his eyes shut. "Not again."


	2. Chapter 2

Months passed, stretched into years. Eren and the others grew from awkward teenagers into young men and women, veterans now instead of cadets. As time passed, Eren gained more control over his own power, and the Scouting Legion's expeditions were more successful, the survival rate higher. Four years after Eren's trial, and they finally reclaimed Wall Maria and sealed the breach. Once the last of the Titans trapped between Rose and Maria were exterminated, the Scouting Legion moved their headquarters to a fort within sight of the old Shiganshina district in preparation for the push to recover the overrun city and find out just what secrets Dr. Jaeger had been hiding in his house.

Throughout all this, Levi did his best to put as much distance between himself and Eren as he could, considering his role of being Eren's keeper had not changed. He took to avoiding him when they were in the headquarters, assigning him to chores and tasks that took him as far away from Levi as possible, having others train with him, even going as far as locking his office door and pretending he wasn't in whenever Eren grew too frustrated and sought Levi out himself. Levi knew Eren wasn't stupid, knew the young man had figured out that Levi was dodging him on purpose. Yet that bull-headed determination of Eren's wouldn't seem to let him back down, and it ended up as an odd sort of competition between them, with Levi continually pushing Eren away while Eren doggedly tried to force Levi to acknowledge him. It usually ended with Levi ordering Eren to get the fuck out of his face. He tried to ignore the hurt that would flash in Eren's eyes when he did, just like he tried to ignore that no matter how much he told himself he wanted nothing to do with Jaeger or his damn eyes that brought up too many memories, Levi would more often than not find himself seeking Eren out, watching from the edges as he trained, as he laughed with the others in the mess hall, as he sat quietly in the grass with Mikasa and Armin.

Shortly after the territory between Walls Rose and Maria was officially declared Titan-free and a few days before the planning of the expedition to Shiganshina was to begin in earnest, Erwin released several casks and bottles of alcohol, allowing the soldiers one night to celebrate their victory. One night to forget about the fight looming in front of them.

As for Levi, he didn't really have any interest in surrounding himself with drunken idiots, so he was on his way to his quarters to finish some of the never-ending paperwork that always seemed to pile up on his desk. He had just turned the corner into the corridor in front of his office when he stopped, seeing a familiar figure seated on the ledge of one of the deep-set windows. "Jaeger?"

Eren's head came up from where he'd been staring out over the courtyard where the others had gathered around several small fires, his eyes widening. "Heichou." He started to stand, but Levi waved him back down. Eren turned his gaze outside again, where Sasha had somehow managed to convince Erwin to let them roast sweet potatoes.

"Shouldn't you be out there with your friends?"

Eren shrugged. "I told Mikasa I didn't feel well and was going to bed."

Levi swore internally. Eren was the lynchpin to their entire strategy. If he got sick, it could set the plan back _weeks_. "Are you coming down with something?"

"Huh?" Eren looked over at Levi in confusion before slowly shaking his head. "No, I just... I just don't feel like celebrating. That's all." Eren turned back to the window, and his hand came up to play with the key he always wore around his neck.

For the first time in ages, Levi took a moment to look, really _look_ , at Eren. He'd grown several inches over the years, his body filling out from the lanky frame of his adolescence. He wore his hair fairly long now, the bits around his face pulled back into a knot while the rest hung loose, reaching about halfway down the back of his neck. Eren leaned his head back against the stone of the wall, his gaze briefly meeting Levi's. Levi realized with a start that Eren's eyes didn't have their usual bright spark in them, instead seeming dark and almost...melancholy. It was an expression that for once did not remind him of Isabel.

Levi's chest hurt.

"Jaeger. Come with me." Levi strode past where Eren was sitting, not looking back to see if he followed. Levi didn't have to; he already knew that Eren would follow him.

He always did.

~~~~~

Levi led Eren into his office and through it to his private room. "Sit."

Eren hesitated. The room was sparsely furnished, leaving him the choice of sitting on a small sofa by the window or sitting on the bed. Eren chose the sofa, and Levi nodded before going into his bathroom to change out of his uniform and into a more comfortable pair of pants and a loose shirt. When he came out, Eren was sitting with his hands braced against his knees while he looked down and chewed on his lower lip, looking for all the world like a child about to receive a scolding. Levi sat down next to him with a heavy sigh. "Alright, Eren. What's bothering you?"

Eren startled a little at Levi's use of his name. "N-nothing, sir."

Levi scowled. "Don't feed me horseshit and tell me it's chocolate." Eren ducked his head down further but didn't answer, and Levi's scowl deepened. "You're worried about the expedition."

Eren winced. "Y-yeah. I can't stop thinking about it. What if something goes wrong? What if I can't control my powers again? What if Reiner and Bertholt are there? I-I can't..." Eren's voice trailed off into a hoarse whisper as his hand came up to clutch at his key, his knuckles turning white from the strength of his grip.

"Eren. Look at me." Levi reached out and took Eren's jaw in his hand, gently turning him toward him as he felt Eren tremble under his fingertips. "You're right; there's no way to know _what_ will happen once we go through that gate and into Shiganshina. Everything could go to hell five steps in." Eren's gaze started to drop. "But-" Eren's eyes snapped back up to Levi's face. "You're not _alone_ , so don't try to shoulder all the responsibility yourself. Trust in Erwin's plan and in the skill of your friends." Levi slid his hand back, until it was cupped protectively around the back of Eren's neck. "Trust in _me_ , Eren."

Eren drew in a shaky breath. "O-of course I trust you, Levi-" Eren's eyes went wide, and he clapped a hand over his mouth as Levi's name slipped out without honorifics or title.

Levi's heartbeat picked up speed, and his throat suddenly felt dry. He fought to keep his expression still as he pulled Eren closer to him and growled out, "What was that, Jaeger?"

"S-sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

"Oh? That's too bad."

"Heichou?" Eren's voice squeaked upward and broke on the last syllable, and Levi's lips twitched.

"You know, if you don't want to spend the night getting shitfaced with everyone else, there's a different way to distract yourself from thinking."

Levi's inner voice still nagged at him not to let Eren in, not to get too close, but Levi knew it was already too late.

It had been too late four years ago.

Eren swallowed heavily, and Levi pressed a fingertip against his lower lip. "Do you want this, Eren?"

Instead of answering right away, Eren parted his lips and took Levi's finger inside his mouth, sucking and wrapping his tongue around it as Levi made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. Eren pulled back, releasing the finger with a wet 'pop,' and looked at Levi. "More than anything, sir." His green eyes had lost the dull look of earlier and filled with a familiar determined fire that Levi realized was uniquely _Eren_ , and he leaned forward with a sigh, resting his forehead against Eren's.

"Then drop the 'sir,' you brat, and tell me what you want."

Eren closed his eyes briefly as he took a deep breath before opening them again. "I want you to stop pushing me away. I want  _you_ , Levi. Even if...even if it's only for tonight." Eren wrapped his hands around Levi's free hand. "I like you, you know. I have for a long time."

"I know." Levi's admission was soft, barely a whisper, as he used the hand on the back of Eren's neck to tug him closer, slotting their lips together. He didn't really give Eren an answer to his feelings - not yet.

_If we both make it back from the expedition, then..._

The rest of Levi's thought was lost as Eren's insistent hands found his hips, pulling him forward until Levi was straddling Eren's lap. Levi pulled back, licking at Eren's red and kiss-swollen lips as he did. "Bed." Levi's voice sounded strange to his own ears, rough and deep.

Eren made a noise of agreement as he captured Levi's lips for another kiss. The next thing Levi knew, Eren was pulling Levi's legs to wrap around his waist and,  _fuck_ , firmly gripping his ass and standing. A few quick strides later and Levi was looking up from the mattress as Eren leaned over him, wondering when the hell Eren had gotten that strong. And then Eren was pulling his shirt over his head and dropping it off the bed before reaching for the hem of Levi's shirt and doing the same to it, and Levi wasn't thinking anything anymore - apart from a slight wince at the thought of the clothing lying crumpled on the floor. Levi blinked up at Eren, the taut, golden skin of his torso smooth and unblemished by any scars. But Levi still kept a catalogue in his head of where every wound had been. Levi sat up, and started running fingers and lips softly over specific spots of Eren's unmarred skin.

A circle around his bicep, where he'd lost an arm. An uneven gash on his shoulder, where he'd gotten impaled by flying debris. A thin line, wrapping from his hip and up his stomach, where someone's 3DMG had misfired, catching him with the grappling hook. A slash across his forearm from Levi's own blades, when he'd had to cut Eren out of his Titan in a hurry.

"Levi..." Eren's voice was thick, choked with emotion. Levi ignored him and continued to trace over Eren's skin, finally reaching Eren's hands. As he pressed his lips into the pad of Eren's thumb, Levi looked up to meet eyes that were even brighter than usual, shining with affection and unshed tears. Eren smiled then, a smile so warm and breathtakingly beautiful that Levi froze, his heart slamming up into his throat.

Eren pressed him down into the bed, his own mouth and fingers ghosting over the myriad of scars crisscrossing Levi's body, souvenirs of a lifetime of fighting - first in the Underground and, later, in the Scouting Legion. Eren paused when he got down to the waistband of Levi's pants. "Can I?"

Levi nodded, not trusting his voice, and Eren unfastened them. Levi lifted his hips to assist as Eren slowly peeled his pants and underwear off, shivering as the cool air hit his heated skin. Eren stopped for a moment and bit his lip as he stared down at Levi before he bent down and laved his tongue up the underside of Levi's cock. Levi's breath hitched as Eren prodded his slit, and then Eren's tongue was running back down.

And then Eren kept going down, further and further, and Levi would deny to his dying day that he made the sound that ripped from his throat - something that was half a high pitched keen and half a sobbing moan - when Eren's tongue pressed against his entrance. Eren stopped to nuzzle his face against Levi's thigh, and Levi could  _feel_ the grin spreading across Eren's face. Eren renewed his efforts, alternating circling the tight ring of muscle with pushing his tongue inside and thrusting it in and out, lavishing attention on Levi until he was a shaking, desperate mess. "E-Eren, please. I want... I need..."

Eren sat back up, quickly wiggling out of his own pants. He made a relieved sounding sigh as he got them off, and then he ran his hands over Levi's chest. "Do you have any oil?"

Levi nodded, groping clumsily toward the drawer in his nightstand. Eren beat him to it, crawling up the bed and fishing through the drawer until he found the small glass vial. Eren opened it and dripped some out, rubbing his fingers together to spread the oil around and warm it. When he was satisfied, he used his clean hand to urge Levi's legs further apart, rubbing soothing circles on his inner thigh as he slowly, slowly worked one, then two, fingers inside him, gradually working him open.

Levi let his head fall back with a breathy moan, trying to make himself relax. Trying not to think about how Eren obviously knew what he was doing. Trying not to think about who he must have been doing it  _with_ before now. He didn't have the right to, not after he'd spent years building walls between them.

Then Levi wasn't thinking at all as Eren's fingers brushed against his prostate, sending a shockwave of pleasure arcing through his body. His hands fisted in his sheets as his back arched up of its own volition. A short while later, Eren removed his hand and drizzled more of the oil on his cock, spreading it along his length with a few quick strokes. Eren gripped himself tight at the base to line himself up with Levi and pushed himself in. He leaned over Levi as he eased inside, sweat beading his forehead with effort, until he was fully seated. Eren bent down, burying his face in Levi's shoulder as he waited for Levi to adjust, murmuring into Levi's skin the entire time about how good he felt, how gorgeous he was, how amazing he was.

Levi brought his arms up around Eren, gently scratching the back of his neck to let him know it was okay to move. And he did, and Levi was surrounded by Eren's warmth and scent, Eren's voice dripping honeyed words and sweet praise into his ears, and Eren was filling him up again and again, and everything was Eren, Eren, Eren,  _Eren, Eren, Erenerenerenereneren._

"Levi, Levi, Levi. I love you." Eren's breath was coming hard and fast now, the words panted out between. "I love you. Levi!"

"Ere-!" Levi's orgasm hit him hard, seizing up his throat as he tensed and shook, the world wavering in and out as his vision went black, then white, then black again. He was distantly aware of Eren crying out as he ground down into him, his hands seeking out Levi's and gripping them tight, their fingers intertwining.

When Levi came fully back to himself, he was still shaking. Eren was collapsed on top of him, and both of their chests were panting and heaving for air. Levi became aware of a sticky wetness on his stomach and dripping down his inner thigh. He grimaced and started to try to shift Eren off of him. Eren pulled back. "What are you doing?"

"I have to get this shit washed off and change the sheets. This is disgusting."

"Are you sure you can even walk?"

"Of course I can walk, smartass." But when Levi tried to stand, his legs shook so badly he had to sit back down on the bed before he collapsed onto it. He glared at Eren. "Not one. Damn. Word."

Eren laughed quietly before he gave Levi's cheek a placating nuzzle. "I'll go get some clean bedding and a wet cloth."

Eren paused at the doorway of the bathroom to look back at Levi with vivid eyes filled with warmth and light.

Levi decided that he loved the color green, after all.


End file.
